i used to have these moments of nostalgic reflection where i used to just lay down, stare at the ceiling, curl up in a warm blanket, get all cozy, and just think about hyderabad, my friends, my family, the comfort of a home, not having to care about anything coz everything was done for you.

but, ever since i moved to ann arbor, i kinda haven't felt the same. i actually love this city, the people, the big dreams, everyone's deep connection with the university. all of it, the go blue chants, the victors song, mr brightside, maize and blue all over, crossing the o's on every sign because osu vs umich football rivalry. the people especially, crazy dreams, crazy achievements, crazy goals, empathetic ears, broken enough to feel human, amazing enough to keep trying always to be awesome.

ive come to love this city and these people so much that, now, i kinda am scared ill miss this place when i do leave 😔 which scares me because only 3 more semesters doesn't feel like a lot of time- i want to spend the rest of my life hanging out with my idiots, going out, eating awesome food, helping each other out, showing up to everything, and just being there.

i went from hating both places, to then staying in bloomington, where i started loving and missing hyderabad, to now where i love both ann arbor and hyderabad, and i don't really want to have to choose between either- both feel equally awesome. 😔

i love ann arbor, but i’m kinda scared that i’ll end up not feeling like i fit in here, just like i did with hyderabad when i moved away. yk those cliche things people say that when you leave your home city, and live somewhere else, no place, will truly ever feel like home, ever again. i’m scared i actually understand that now.

this is also why i kinda admire / love people who grew up multi-cultured. yk those people who have parents from different cultures / histories, or maybe parents who grew up somewhere but raised the kids in a different place? i love thatttt, because, they grow up used to belonging to more than just one place. life has always been different for them, they don’t stick to either culture, they don’t do things just one way. they end up mixing cultures and creating their own unique ways of doing things, which is so adorable. and wdym all this is just normal?

sometimes, i seriously wish i could be one of those people. but- that’s not really something i get to pick now, do i? my parents grew up in a smaller town, but not that far from hyderabad, no cultural differences. i grew up in hyderabad for 18 years, i don’t, and can’t ever have that multi culture view on life that i want now. it’s not something i get to choose, which is why i adore those people so much. they didn’t pick it, they don’t even know if that’s what they want, but they got no choice, and somehow, they always seem to make something beautiful of those circumstances.

i feel like these typa people stand out immedeately, they have more than just one lens to look at life through. i kinda love that.

nostalgia; home; multi-culture