man, idk what to do, i want to be an artist, i want to open my tab and draw. i want to want to be an artist.

it's been so long i learnt figma. i forgot how to learn new things. i wasn't even crazy at figma, i was just early; that head start gave me a huge bonus yet i can't help but feel like im not an artist. i don't make any art, i think drawing feels so weird because i don't know why it's helpful or useful to know?

i know with figma ki the end goal is to convey to someone, how a software will look, without making the actual thing. with lightroom, it's to edit photos and make them look as they seemed to my eyes. with photoshop, it's to alter photos just enough for a specific goal

with drawing on tab, idk, like, i have no end goal and maybe that's why i feel stuck. it's more than end goal too ig. idk how to break down the end goal into tiny steps.

for figma, be it nuclear, or byteclub, or anything, or even claude w my website, or blender / godot for game; i know what i want it to be in the end, and i know how to break it down into smaller steps. i know exactly what to do next to achieve that goal

with sketching, i don't know. youtube doesn't feel helpful, because yt videso are more like tips to draw, how to practice, etc etc. they're not personal. they're not for me specifically. having a mentor who's an artist who you want to be like, and learning from them, would be so amazing. because they'd understand my head and also guide me through the process ykwim?

this is the main reason i believe design schools should always exist, even tho u can do a lot of it on your own, hearing it from a person, makes a huge difference, because you are heard in those scenarios

yeah, not just this. i think, i should learn how to break things into smaller steps in general. that shi, is so important, for so many things in life. i haven't learnt something new in so long, i really did forget, how to learn. i can't even remember how i got into figma, or why i got into figma, or even what i did first in figma?

wannabe artist